Updated: Dec 15, 2022
If you have an anxious attachment, you probably have unhealthy beliefs about relationships. But you can change those.
If you are anxiously attached in your relationship, this is probably the role you always play. You are constantly keeping track of how much time you’re spending together wondering when you’re going to see each other again and what that does to the other person is make them feel like it’s a job to be with you and they feel like they don’t have personal freedom and they forget to be excited about spending time with you because you are available 24/7 and constantly monitoring, when are we going to see each other again?
You don’t realize this is the dynamic you’re creating but you end up feeling like your partner is never as excited about seeing you as you are about seeing them. You need to change roles and look at your unhealthy beliefs around relationships. You don’t need to be together 24/7 and time apart does not mean that you are disconnected or growing apart. You need time to yourself to cultivate your own internal world and your own life.
Try this for the next week, focus on you, focus on nurturing you, having fun experiences with your friends and yourself because it’s a healthy thing to do and get out of that pursuer role, long term it never works.